What to do when you have been taken for granted
What is not happening that used to? Let them initiate physical contact If you're in the habit of initiating physical contact, try to let your partner make the first move for a while. Say No One of the basic personality traits of people who are taken for granted is that they are unable to say no to others.
You have the right to be respected. You may also have been taught to feel that your work is less valuable than others and does not deserve acknowledgement.
This is particularly a problem for women, especially in domestic contexts. Keep your focus on being constructive, rather than venting your anger on the other person.
Think about why you are feeling this way. To address your feelings of being taken for granted, you need to examine what is happening to make you feel this way. Write out a list of the specific behaviors and events that are making you feel unappreciated. You may find things that you can ask the other person to change.
You may also find things about your own communication that you need to work on.
11 Signs You're Being Taken For Granted In Your Relationship
For example, you may need to practice more clearly communicating your boundaries. Be careful of "mind reading", or assuming the motivations of the other person.
If you assume you know why a person acts the way they do, you may well guess wrong. This can lead you do make unfair and incorrect assumptions. Without talking to Jenny, you do not really know why. Perhaps she was being a terrible, ungrateful person--or she did not return the favor because she had a dentist appointment that day, or maybe because you did not ask outright, and only dropped vague hints. Identify what has changed in the relationship. If you feel taken for granted, it may be because you once felt valued by the person who is now taking you for granted. It might also stem from the knowledge that you should feel appreciated but do not.
Whatever the cause, identifying what has changed about your interactions with the other person can help you feel better. It can also help you find a solution for the relationship. What did they do that made you feel appreciated? What is not happening that used to? Have you changed anything about yourself? You feel punished and disrespected, so why should you try to understand why you are being treated this way?
Trying to understand what the other person is feeling may be helpful to understanding what is happening.
How to Stop Being Taken for Granted
It may also help you work with the other person find a solution to the problem. However, you can control your own actions. If you feel disrespected or ignored by others, you may be able to affect how they respond to you by changing how you communicate and act.
The following are some attitudes and behaviors that may encourage others to treat you unfairly: You are not willing to say no or to ask for a revision of expectations out of fear that the other person will not like you or will find fault with take. You do not express your true feelings, thoughts, or beliefs. You express your opinions, needs, or feelings in an overly apologetic or self-effacing way e. You put yourself down in front of others and often, to yourself. You think that you'll what be liked or loved if you do what other people expect of you.
Consider your beliefs about yourself. These beliefs often demand more from yourself than from others. Think about whether you have any of the following: In addition to having irrational beliefs, such as feeling like you should always be able to do anything anyone asks of you, you might also think about yourself in a distorted way. In order to deal with feeling taken for granted, you must confront illogical and distorted thoughts about yourself and others.
This is a common source of you taken for granted: For example, you may feel taken for granted because you imagine that if you speak up to your boss, he will fire you and you will end up living in a have. In all likelihood, this won't happen! Think about what you want. But what do you want? It will be hard to see any change in your situation if you feel vague dissatisfaction but have no clear ideas on what would improve it.
Try making a list of things that you would like to see change about the relationship. Do you want them to call when a week? Do you want to give them money when they ask for it? You need to examine your boundaries so you can for them to others. Only you can set a boundary and stick to it. Sadly, there are people who will manipulate others whenever possible to get what they want. You need to take action. Challenge your interpretations of interactions with others.
16 Reasons Why You’re Always Being Taken for Granted
Try to slow down and think logically about each situation. You could also look at how others have handled requests from a particular person. It's a dangerous roll of the dice. Maybe they don't ask because they don't think to.
Maybe they don't care. Maybe they don't ask because they assume they know how your day went. Or maybe they don't ask because they just take for granted that you're partners in crime who need to keep sharing in order to maintain a close connection. Either way, not checking in with you or asking you about your life is a subtle way to show that they lack concern for your total happiness.
Does your partner pick their friends over you, make decisions they know will upset you, do things you've agreed they wouldn't do, or just act like a jerk a lot?
This is a problem. Your happiness and your feelings are not something your partner should ever take for granted, especially not on a regular basis. This is behavior that screams "unhealthy relationship" and if you feel in your gut that you deserve betteryou probably do.
This is a sure sign of a one-sided relationship. Your partner doesn't talk to you about where they're going, if you had plans in mind, or if you wanted to spend time together.
What To Do When You’re Feeling Taken For Granted
They just leave whenever they want, to go wherever they want. But you don't or can't do that. You think its inconsiderate, and you don't take the time you have to spend together for granted.
You need to let your partner know that they can't take for granted the fact that you're always cool with being excluded from decisions about how you guys spend your time. Once you address these issues, your partner will either realize they've been taking you for granted and try to change, or continue on like it's just your problem. See how your team goes about meeting KPIs and targets. They will say "John, your absence during end of month really had a massive effect on the numbers. We now realize what a major difference your sales make to our overall performance". Putting yourself in the shoes of others and having the wisdom to think how your actions are going to affect others is a rare and much appreciated talent.
But are you over doing it? Many people often have the habit of asking themselves "How will they feel if I do this? If you are one of them, you may want to cut this down because your friends or colleagues may take this very habit of yours for granted. The problem with making bad decisions is that you have to accept that you made a bad call if someone catches you off guard. Making good decisions, on the other hand gives you the confidence to do what you feel is right and lessens the chances of people around you to try to persuade you otherwise.
Developing a habit to take good decisions will stop people from taking you for granted because they will have seen your ability to take the have call at the right time. Because the last time you vouched for a project that did not work out at all" Your colleagues at work may impose their views and opinions about a particular project your company is undertaking simply because you are known to not being able to come up with concrete decisions.
This is as good as taking your opinion for granted, or not being counted at all. In your battle to stop being taken for granted, you should try and look for answers to the question, "Why am I being taken for granted? Give this whole scenario a quick introspection and if necessary, pen you your thoughts.
Learn how to deal with the things that have given this situation a chance to arise and move on. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites. For partner and i used to obtain at the top of existence but lately We've built up a new resistance. I am that guy, I try to please everyone and in the rush to do so my efforts become overlooked and my own concerns and feelings get ignored. I set myself up by being Mr. Nice Guy and now that my friends and loved ones know me it seems I cannot escape this cycle of people really getting under my skin.
What do I do to stop the cycle without making a when ? I can see where you come from. If these people refuse to accept your opinion even if you are right, it makes little sense trying to convince them, does it?
I'm what you liked it. We meet many intriguing personalities in the walk of life. A couple going out on a date always try to surprise each other, granted marriage this is somehow lost. So learn to change routines! I particular dislike when people get into relationships and only take their life around their spouse. Yes you guys are in a relationship but have your own life too. Do things by yourself, go out, meet up with your friends you haven't spoke to in years. Have your own hobbies. Spending time away from your spouse makes you guys actually miss each other more.
When a guy takes me for granted, I go out a lot at night with my girlfriends.
How to Stop Being Taken for Granted in Your Relationship
The guys I date will come crawling back. I totally agree with you! I communicated the matter my feelings with my partner and now I can already see that things are getting better.